When I was in Lourdes a great peace fill my heart. The Holy Spirit was in me. As we drove out of Lourdes a thought ran through my mind. Jesus could heal me anywhere. At mass, when I receive Him through Holy Communion. I felt peaceful and thankful because I knew my God had a plan for me as a person with Cerebral Palsy. I was healed. Not from Cerebral Palsy but I had accepted that I was a peson with Cerebral Palsy.

Through my life I had many struggles that I had to overcome like any other person. When I was in my 20, I moved to Grande Prairie and lived alone. That was when I was starting to write poetry. Through my poetry I grew close to God.

Every third Thursday of the month there is a healing service in Grande Prairie and many times I when to it. When I was in my 40, I had a hard time communicated with so many people. I found my speech was holding me back with so many things like in my business and I stopped going out alone.  I was frustrated with my life.

At one healing service, I went up to a guy that who I knew. I thought he would be able to understand me. When he asked me what do you want me to pray for? I told him, I want to speak clearly.

 He answered what? So I said it again.

He said, ”What?

 I said, “I want to talk.”

 “What?’ he answered, “I could not understand you.”

 So I said, “Talk Talk!!”  As my voice was getting louder and louder.

He replied “Sorry Chuck I can’t understand you.” I thought that he wouldn’t understand me so I said something else. I knew if I say it again I would have break down crying.

As he was praying over me a grate peace fell over me. As I went back to sit down I knew I have to accept my speech problem. Over the next few days I asked God to help me to accept his will for me. He healed me not my speech problem but he healed me so I accept my cross he had given to me.

Why God does not heal me? God needs me with Cerebral Palsy to do a job for him. God had healed me not from Cerebral Palsy, but he had wiped away my tears and gives me a reason to be happy.

I like end with a poem inn 1988.

Why Me?

I woke up this morning,
and the fighting began.
I fight to sit up in bed.
I fight with my hands to pull up my pants.

I need help
with eating,
with dressing.
I am afraid that no one will understand me.
I'm afraid to ask a girl for a date
because of my speech.

Every time I say something,
I repeat myself two
or three times.
Why should I have to repeat myself?

When I walk,
I fall.
It causes me pain
that never goes away.
That pain stays with me until I die.
Why me, O God?

When I am asleep, 
I dream I can talk.
I can run and jump,
I have a girl.

Then I woke up.
The war inside of me starts again.
It’s like I'm in jail, in my own body,
serving a lifetime.
Why?

But I'm still lucky.
A lot of people are worse off than me.
I thank God for who I am.

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By Charles Breunig

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